Annoyed by the challenge

I took by far the most challenging yoga class I’ve ever been in yesterday morning. It’s not like I knew I was going in for a Level 3, professionals only yoga class. It was a 45-minute lunch break flow. It’s the same class I take every day. BUT what I like about this studio is that every teacher teaches what they want, rather than a scheduled sequence. So some days are more challenging than others.

In yesterday’s class, I found myself annoyed by how difficult it was. Annoyed that it was challenging. That my limbs were shaking and my shoulders were sore. Looking in the mirror I noticed how red and exhausted my face looked from holding my breath in, rather than allowing the breath to move to the most knotted parts of my body.

I practice yoga in a studio for this feeling. For the ability to be pushed past my limits, even when I’m annoyed  by it. Annoyance is an emotion and I’ve come to find that these emotions showing up on my mat are a direct reflection of an emotion I feel out in the world.

Try and stay in the poses that make you the most annoyed. The ones that make your muscles sore and cause you to shake. Acknowledge the feelings and emotions that come up. Think about why they are appearing and let them go. Move past them and chose leave those thoughts and feelings in the space you’re in.

Inhale what you need and exhale what no longer serves you.

Namaste!

Kristi ❤

The next BIG adventure

I honestly can’t believe that this week is here.

My last week in the office with all of my coworkers. My last 3 days with my best friends. The people who have been by my side through everything that’s happened the majority of my life. The people who have supported every insane decision I’ve thought to pursue and every relationship that’s left me broken hearted. These are the people that have made me who I am. Who have believed in me when I didn’t and have allowed me to develop and evolve into my truest version of myself. I’m forever grateful for those who have loved and supported me through all of it. And I don’t know if I ever would have found the woman that I am now if it wasn’t for the past 10 months that I’ve had.

2015 has been the most influential year for me and my personal development. Learning more about what I want, and what I see for myself and my future. Acknowledging and accepting that I deserve better than a comfortable life. No one deserves a comfortable life. And that’s not a life I want for myself. I don’t want to be comfortable. I want to live a big and insane life because I know that I deserve that, and want that for myself. The magic only happens when you leave your comfort zone. Why limit myself to what I’m capable of? Why limit God to what He’s capable of?

I have a 3 day, 22 hour and 1,464 mile drive ahead of me, just me and Bentley. Driving through Virginia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Arkansas and Texas, and were doing it alone. After the summer I’ve had, truly the last 7 months, I can’t wait to have some time to deflate. This summer has been the most incredible to date. I have never felt more empowered, strong, independent and loved. And I’m incredibly blessed that I’ve had enough energy to keep up with everything I’ve wanted to do and all of the memories that I’ve been able to create.

I have 3 days left in DC. And they are packed with time with friends, celebration, booze, laughter, tears, love and happiness. I start saying my goodbyes today, and I’ve never been more ready. Because it’s not truly goodbye, but see you soon.

Just show up

I didn’t come looking for anything when I came to yoga. I was just told to show up. What does that even mean? Just show up? It took me about a year and a half to understand that. Teachers would tell me, and the class, that nothing mattered as long as you showed up to your mat.

I’m not a competitive person, but the days where I feel my practice is at it’s best, I am the most proud. I have brought everything on to my mat. Bad days at work, bad news with friends, friends death, exhaustion, run down and burnt out. I have brought every form of myself, but my mat has never turned me away. My mat is one place that I don’t have to explain the emotions that show up. And that’s when I understood it. Just show up on your mat. The thoughts you were thinking, the stressors you were focused on, the laundry list you were creating – leave it behind and just show up. The emotions that you bring, that is your truest self. Regardless of what those feelings are. I have laid and cried on my mat after finding out the worst news of my best friends divorce. I remember laying in savasana with the most silent tears pouring out of my eyes. And my mat didn’t ask questions. It just accepted what showed up.

I’ve found that no two practices are the same. I have long narrow feet so balancing poses are sometimes extra difficult. Especially if I’m having a bad day balancing. I’m grateful that my mat is there on the bad days and doesn’t laugh. And on the good days I have room to celebrate.

I also have an extra vertebrae in my cervical spine, so back bends are amazing but camel is painful and tough. My mat accepts me fully, however I come. It’s incredible to know that on my worst days I can show up and be successful, fulfilled completely, as well as empowered.

Because of yoga, I am a more confident, happier and more beautiful person. I have found that the world is more beautiful, and what we surround ourselves with, is what we tend to become and reflect. My mat is a place where I can perform for myself. Where I can push myself to my limit, or just focus on my breath. It is a place for rest, and hard work. It’s a place to play what I have been practicing, and try what I’m scared of. It’s a place where falling isn’t frowned upon, and help is always accepted. Even better than that, the yoga studio provides the same things, along with a family of people who wants you to succeed as much as you do.

Whatever shows up is fine, as long as you do show up.