Perspective

While being in my mid 20s has been some of the greatest times of my life, its also the time when all of my friends are getting engaged, married and having babies…including my ex’s.

My first serious boyfriend ever got married this past weekend. He married a girl that I was incredibly close to in college. And it put me in this weird mood. Not because I wish it was me he was saying ‘I do’ to, because I don’t. I know that God used the relationship he and I had to teach me a lot, and grow in more ways than I probably am even aware of, but it was still weird. I tried explaining the feeling that was distracting me to my mom, but she just couldn’t relate.

I know a part of me is sad that I’m not at that season of my life yet, but still sad isn’t even the right word. I’m very slightly envious, because I’ve been wanting to be loved by someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with me. But then I think about how much I’ve changed in the last year and a half. I think about the things that I thought were important in a significant other, and how different those “absolutely must have” qualities have changed.

J and I remind each other regularly that we don’t need each other. While to some that may sound incredibly insensitive, to me its incredibly empowering. Its empowering to be able to look at the man I care about and with 100% honesty be able to tell him that I don’t need him. But that I CHOOSE to have him in my life. I choose him. He’s in my life because I want him there, not because I need him to provide for me. Or because i don’t know what life would be like alone. Or because I can’t live without him.

When the guy that just got married and I broke up, we’d been together for 4 years – 2 in high school and 2 in college and I literally didn’t know what life would be like without him. I hadn’t walked through life alone in so long that I didn’t know what to expect, our how to function. Id lost friendships because he became my world so I had to start from scratch. Granted, I was 16 when we started dating, so I really didn’t know what I was doing, but it made starting over even more challenging. I had to establish a baseline for the woman that I wanted to be and grow from there. I had to recreate the tribe of people that surrounded me and occupied my time, and I had to figure out what it was that I wanted. I had the freedom to decide for myself what I was going to do with my future, as well as what I wanted to spend my free time doing and even simpler, where I was going to eat. I didn’t have to take into consideration anyone else’s feelings but my own and it was terrifying and exhilarating.

Now I look at where I stand, and its incredibly empowering to be able to look back at the growth that’s occurred. To be able to honestly and truly say, but also believe, that I don’t need a man in my life. I’ve proven to myself that I am capable of giving myself the most amazing life all on my own. That I can provide for myself and my dog. That I can have friendships all over the world and successfully make them important pieces of my life despite the distance between us. I’ve found hobbies and grown as a Christian woman and daughter. And I’ve managed two jobs and developed a relationship with an incredible Christian man, all while never once losing who I am.

Take a step back and look into yourself for a second. Do you depend on your significant other or spouse for everything in your life? Financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically? I challenge you to take some time to focus on yourself. YOU are the most important person in your life. And I think that is something that we regularly forget. Everyone needs a reminder, and i’m happy to be yours.

With all my love,

kristi

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The next BIG adventure

I honestly can’t believe that this week is here.

My last week in the office with all of my coworkers. My last 3 days with my best friends. The people who have been by my side through everything that’s happened the majority of my life. The people who have supported every insane decision I’ve thought to pursue and every relationship that’s left me broken hearted. These are the people that have made me who I am. Who have believed in me when I didn’t and have allowed me to develop and evolve into my truest version of myself. I’m forever grateful for those who have loved and supported me through all of it. And I don’t know if I ever would have found the woman that I am now if it wasn’t for the past 10 months that I’ve had.

2015 has been the most influential year for me and my personal development. Learning more about what I want, and what I see for myself and my future. Acknowledging and accepting that I deserve better than a comfortable life. No one deserves a comfortable life. And that’s not a life I want for myself. I don’t want to be comfortable. I want to live a big and insane life because I know that I deserve that, and want that for myself. The magic only happens when you leave your comfort zone. Why limit myself to what I’m capable of? Why limit God to what He’s capable of?

I have a 3 day, 22 hour and 1,464 mile drive ahead of me, just me and Bentley. Driving through Virginia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Arkansas and Texas, and were doing it alone. After the summer I’ve had, truly the last 7 months, I can’t wait to have some time to deflate. This summer has been the most incredible to date. I have never felt more empowered, strong, independent and loved. And I’m incredibly blessed that I’ve had enough energy to keep up with everything I’ve wanted to do and all of the memories that I’ve been able to create.

I have 3 days left in DC. And they are packed with time with friends, celebration, booze, laughter, tears, love and happiness. I start saying my goodbyes today, and I’ve never been more ready. Because it’s not truly goodbye, but see you soon.

EveryBODY is beautiful.

I viewed the most incredible video tonight. It is something that I have believed in wholeheartedly, and finding a video that is educating the world on the same thing is amazing.

My company takes all of their employees on a vacation every January after busy season to celebrate hitting goals and making it through another fiscal year. A few weeks before the trip, a girl in the bathroom had mentioned that she hated that I was going to be on the same trip as her because all of the boys were going to drool over me. I was so frustrated by her comment. Partly because she doesn’t know that I worked my tail off for the body I have, (I gained quite a bit of weight in college) and because she shouldn’t compare herself to me, but should love the skin that she is in. I know that is easier said than done, but comparing yourself to others will never make you feel better about yourself.

I felt so sad and disappointed in the world, for teaching women that we need to be skinner, tanner, and more beautiful. I am a firm believer that God created each and every one of us in His own image and that we are all uniquely beautiful. Part of our beauty is on the outside, but the majority comes from within. How you treat people – both family and strangers, how you react in situations, what you do under stress, how you handle the worst, as well as the best days, and how you treat yourself. These things should be what mainly define our beauty. Beauty is NOT only skin deep. Beauty encompasses so little about our actual bodies, and everything about our lives and souls. If your life is beautiful, you will radiate beauty. So surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. Take time to fall in love with who you are. Do things that make you happy. Enjoy the sunshine and do what you love as often as you can. Stay away from the negative, and avoid those thoughts as often as possible.

Remember: Life happens for you, not to you! Don’t miss out because you were too busy worrying about other people found beautiful in you.

Please go to the website and join the movement!! http://www.bodyimagemovement.com

#ihaveembraced