Dating the Lord

God help me to be fully satisfied in you. The idea that I need to be in a relationship needs to be removed from me because ultimately I’m in a relationship with you God. I want to be fully 100% satisfied in you and at peace with the plan that you have prepared for me. Amen. 
The scariest part about asking the Lord to make me fully satisfied in Him, is that I’m also asking for peace if that means I’m called to be single for the rest of my life. I totally understand that you’re thinking “that’s a little extreme” but hear me out. We’re all called to be and to do something. While I have felt that I was called to be a wife and a mother my entire life, the Lord may not actually be calling me to be that. He could be calling me to be something different. Even though I’ve always dreamed of being a wife, ultimately He may not call me to fulfill that roll. I’m asking for grace in accepting that the Lord is fully in control, even when that brings me to my knees in emotions. 
Paul Enns said “Grace may be defined as the unmerited or undeserving favor of God of those who are under condemnation.” 
When it comes to dating and relationships, I have thought that I knew better than God. That the relationships I was in, or men I was waiting on, were the right fit at that moment. But the crazy thing is, I have never been pursued by men the way I’ve pursued them. The way that I want and deserve to be pursued. But the Lord pursues me daily! 
Hannah Kerr as a song right now where the lyrics make me feel infinitely better. 

“Every scar on my skin 

Is a beautiful reminder

Of a moment when I didn’t give in 

And I walked through fire
Cuz in the dark there is a light 

A truth that keeps on burning bright

Makes me brave to fight the fight

And shout the battle cry 
Don’t ever stop me I’m a warrior

When I fall down I get stronger

Faith is my shield your love is the armor

I’m a warrior”
I would rather be completely and wholly content with being alone than go down another path where I’m going to be questioning every day where we stand. Relationships shouldn’t be that confusing and complicated. They should be exciting, and fun! While I’m anxious for that next chapter, I’m trying really hard to enjoy each coming day and let God take me down the paths that He chooses to send me down. 

Let go and let God. No matter how many times I tell myself that, it’s easier said than done. 

Know Your Worth

It took me many many years to figure out my worth. I dated a lot of men and thought that they would be able to help me define it, but honestly it made it more challenging and made me feel like I was worth less, not more. I also dated a lot to fill whatever hole of loneliness that I needed patched.

Knowing your worth is a challenge. But once it’s found, the thought of losing it is unimaginable. I can’t imagine losing what I’ve won. I’m so proud to be where I am and proud to know what I’m worth.

Dating is a time in life when many of my girlfriends, like my old self, lose that. They think that it’s more important to have a significant other who maybe doesn’t respect them, or won’t commit after months is okay because they aren’t alone.

Girlfriend! You are worth more than that. Being single is a phenomenal time to learn about yourself and make that your prime investment. Take up a new skill, or learn to bake something besides slice and bake cookies. Find a foundation you’re passionate about and get involved. Redecorate your house or get a side job. But never forget that you don’t need a man.

I’m in a situation where I’m trying to date a guy long distance. Trying is the key word. Long distance isn’t for everyone and having to maneuver around that is challenging, honestly. I totally get it’s not for everyone and I don’t lose an ounce of respect if that ends up being the case in my situation. But please understand, after I cry for a second I’m going to get up, dust my butt off from falling down and I’m going to move forward. Because I’m worth more than settling for someone who can’t give me 100%, and girlfriend you deserve more too.

I know in my heart that there is someone out there who will be willing to, and will want to give me 110%. Someone who appreciates how I love people, my family, friends, strangers and the Lord. There is someone who will share my dream of raising a family, adoption and traveling the world. That man is out there. Heck, it could be the guy I’m getting to know and dating now, but until God reveals that to me, I have to continue trusting the process and moving forward.

While you’re trusting God and moving forward in your own relationship, try keeping these things in mind:
– Why isn’t he committing to you? Is it because its brand new and you’ve only known him for 3 weeks or does he have another excuse that doesn’t make sense anymore 8 months later?
– Do you actually have things in common? I have a girlfriend who isn’t even sure she likes the guy, but their intimacy level is really compatible . Make sure that YOU’RE there for the right reasons.
– Has he done something shady that you’ve chosen to ignore and look past?
– Has he ever told you you deserve better? I learned that if a man tells you this, you need to listen and trust him.

If you said yes to any of those things, I would take a step back and look at the relationship from a different perspective. Ending relationships suck. I know because I’ve ended almost all of the relationships I’ve been in and it’s really hard, but staying longer when in your gut you know it’s not right for you is going to make leaving later every harder.

You are loved. And you deserve everything you want in this world. Please don’t stand in your own way and be the reason why you don’t get them. ❤️

Do the work. Trust the process.

I’ve heard this phase from one of my favorite yoga instructors from the D.C. area for about 3 years now. It has always made sense but today in PT I got to experience the reward first hand and immediately.

I had hip surgery 7 weeks ago to repair a torn labrum in my left hip, and my recovery has been long and slow. I’m a really active person who has been told to be still for essentially 12 weeks. I’ve been riding a sedentary bike for a few weeks now, while slowly adding in simple basic body weight activities like lunges and squats.

My therapist put me on the bike today for twenty minutes and I dared myself to do 3 miles. This is something I’ve never done. 2 1/2 miles in twenty minutes yes, but adding an extra half mile in the same amount of time would be the challenge. I was literally sweating when I got off that bike at the end of 20 minutes, and rather than feeling defeated that I only did 2.92 miles, i wanted to throw a party for accomplishing SO much in such an allotted amount of time. So much growth in just 7 days and being able to see that growth first hand is incredibly empowering.

Do the work. Trust the process. The results are coming!