At some point I realized that this day would come. The day when I find out that my ex is seeing someone else.
I think shocked is the best way to describe what I’m feeling. Because I still agree that I made the right decision. And I still believe with everything in my body that I’m on the path that was chosen for me. But it doesn’t make this moment any easier. The moment when I realized the person that could never commit to me is committed to someone else. I can’t help but wonder, what does she have to offer him that I never could, or never did? Does she make her happier than I did? Is this just a rebound, or does she actually have potential?
While none of these answers will ever do me any good, or matter, the questions are still there.
Leaving a relationship is tough. Even though I ended this one, I didn’t expect him to be the first to move on. I suppose I’ve had my opportunities, but with my upcoming move I made the executive decision to not date in DC. Mainly because I’m not staying in the area for anyone and a long distance relationship from the place I just moved away from doesn’t sound promising. Nonetheless, today’s news came as a shock to me. I sat at my computer and stared at the gchat box from my roommate who had broken the news. And I cried. I even typed back to her that I didn’t know why I was upset, I just was. Maybe because it was actually over now. It had always been over, but now that he had moved on, it really was over.
Ironically enough, exactly 2 months, 60 days, from today I will be arriving at my parents house. This will mark the completion of my and Bentleys cross country, 1505 mile, drive from Washington, DC to Austin, TX. What a day to hear news! Because it’s a big day for me too. My last 2 months in the area. And I’m more sure and committed to the decision I made.
If anything, today’s news just reaffirmed everything I already knew. That God has a plan in mind, and I’m completely unaware of it. Because of this acceptance, I feel more confident and at peace with the new life and chapter that lie ahead for me in TX, being fully reliant on God. And that my previous relationship was no longer serving me, growing me or providing me the happiness that I needed.