Second Guessing

I’m not ready to believe that today is June 30. Because if it is, that means it’s the last day of the fiscal 3rd quarter. Which automatically means I’m working a 12-14+ hour day. That also means tomorrow is the first day of Q4, which is busy season. It’s crazy, hectic, draining, exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. I talk to more customers and process more orders between July 1 and sept 30 than I do the entire rest of the year.

That almost means I’m less than half way to my moving date. On March 1st when I started playing with this idea I honestly didn’t think it would truly happen. But within a matter of 6 weeks I told my boss, told my roommate, reserved and paid for a moving company to pick up and ship my stuff, bought a plane ticket to visit the city and broke the news to my parents. Now I can see the finish line, my girlfriends wedding on October 17. I’ll be waking up and moving the very next morning. And today we’re at 3 1/2 months out. I literally can’t believe it. Especially since a lot of my summer is already booked with plans. Plans to make memories with every person in my life that I possibly can. Plans that’ll consistently blow up my Instagram and Facebook. But memories that will hold me late at night when I’m homesick.

Can you even be homesick when you’ve moved your home? I think you can. My home is with people. It really always has been. It’s wherever my parents are. It’s wherever my family, my people, are. I’m leaving a lot of family in DC. Family I’m so grateful to have. Family that have been by my side since high school and family that have become sisters in the last few short months.

I have never questioned something the way I’m questioning this move.  I’ve also never had something break my heart the way this move has. Breaking it in ways that I need. To make me stronger. More confident & more independent. To remind me that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. To want what’s best for ME because it’s what I want. To remind my that following your dreams takes a leap of faith into a dark hole and praying something good will be at the bottom. It’s teaching me to trust my instincts and go with my gut. And it’s reminding me of the faith I’ve always had in a greater plan, and that His plan is better and greater than mine.

With everything it’s teaching me, I have never been more confident that this move is everything I need right now. As scary as it is, it really is exactly what I need this year.

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2 thoughts on “Second Guessing

  1. You go girl! 😉👍🏼
    I say go for the bikini contest, the experience you’ll gain from it is WAY more valuable than the title. Winning is just icing.

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